Kardashians Do Pittsburgh (Vol. 2)

(…but not in the same way that I do)

As my nearly-extinct luck would have it, I struck gold while researching the Kardashian’s in Pittsburgh. (I just had to re-read that sentence to make sure it was grammatically correct. Something felt off. Turns out, the feeling was just a result of the combination of the words “researching” and “Kardashians” in the same sentence.)

I thought it’d be a good idea to see if the Kardashians and I shared any similar experiences in Pittsburgh that would be relevant to this blog post. My research led me to the conclusion that we share nothing in common. Absolutely nothing.

As mentioned, though, I struck gold; I found Kourtney Kardashian’s blog. Delightfully, one of her two posts (both from 2009) was a post about Pittsburgh! Correction: a club tour of Pittsburgh. Needless to say, Brock and I didn’t have any pictures that paralleled hers, so feel free to pursue both posts to get a more complete idea of what Pittsburgh has to offer.

Brock and I walked by a club on our way to the burger joint where we dined in Pittsburgh, if that counts for anything!? We were actually heading from the camping site to the city, and stopped in this little town about a half hour north of Pittsburgh for gas. Ravished after our conquest, we decided to just stay in the town to eat.

I found a place on TripAdvisor that would satisfy our carnivorous cravings: Burgh-ers (clever, I know).

My burgh-er was a perfect blend of bleu cheese, sautéed mushrooms, honey, mixed greens, and pixie dust. B’s burgh-er was beef, hold the magic. And post-conquest celebratory chocolate shakes were obviously in order.

Upon discovery that Burgh-ers is a locally grown and raised, organic, sustainable, energy-conscious speakeasy with craft cocktails and burgers, I’m not sure why I even wasted time reading reviews. The place was amazing.

Decidedly in love with Pittsburgh(ers), my anticipation of the city’s offerings grew. We headed into the city to find out what some of those were.

I think my favorite thing about Pittsburgh was it’s similarity to Venice. (Okay, so the cities are about as similar as Kourtney Kardashian and I. Like, in the sense that Kourtney and I both wear shoes. And even that similarity wouldn’t have held true for a good portion of my life.)

See? Pittsburgh has a lot of water and bridges, just like Venice (if you replace peaceful gondola rides with disheveled drivers in cars trying not to give in to the anger induced by all the one-way bridges and tunnels and ramps with no options of turning around). Albeit a stressful drive, the bridges offered the city a pretty look.

Brock and I decided to ride the Duquesne Incline so as to get a better view of the city (a view from above the bridges rather than on them). USA Today decided the view from on top of the Duquesne Incline was one of the world’s top ten views of a city. (Fortunately for the Duquesne Incline, their website was not taken into consideration in the award choosing process.)

I think this is more what USA Today took into consideration.

The experience was well worth the $3.75 I paid for two humans and one giraffe.

USA Today was right. It was a beautiful view. And the bridges and tunnels somehow looked far less discombobulating from this view.

Having navigated the city from a bird’s eye view, we decided to explore the Market Square, a historic collection of stores and restaurants.

My favorite find on the square was a coffee roaster (I know you didn’t see that coming!) called Nicholas Coffee Co. I was given the chance to sample several of their roasts, and Brock had all kinds of questions answered (like, “Where’s the candy?”).

Being immune to the effects of caffeine, my energy wound down as the day did. We headed for the hotel.

Being greeted by this prima donna in the Hyatt lobby was the closest feeling I had to being a Kardashian all day. (She kind of looks Kardashian, yes? I should probably be asking the drunk man who thought I did.)

Eating a bowl of chicken tortilla soup with Brock at the bar of the Pittsburgh Airport’s Hyatt hotel was not exactly how I had imagined my camping adventure last weekend would end. Airport hotel bars are nothing more than a gathering of jet-lagged business men trying to catch up on the week’s happenings in football, while eating their weight in chips and salsa because TripAdvisor couldn’t find anywhere better within a 5-mile radius. Am I right?

Our soup was actually quite yummy though. And even if it wasn’t, we were in our own world–a world very removed from the world the Crusoes lived in. And very removed from the world the Kardashians live in. It was our own world–one in which hotel bar food and laughing together as we recalled the highlights of our Pennsylvania adventure were all we needed for a happy ending.


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